12-0717, 1230.
Please don’t do this.
Please don’t reach out to me.
Please don’t keep reminding me of the missed opportunity that keeps haunting me with every thought of you.
Not a day has gone by where I haven’t spent thinking of you, where I haven’t spent drowning in this sea of regret, of lost cause since the day I let you into my life and just as easily let you slip out from it.
I can’t do this anymore, this endless longing for you.
I fell into such a funk when you left, couldn’t find any way to pick myself back up after falling hard for you.
I’ve fallen, am still falling.
These past few days served only as a faint reminder of the boy I once was before I met you, led me to foolishly believe that I was back on track again, that I was moving on, finding closure, finding myself again.
Little did I realize this faint glimmer of hope I began to build my strength back upon would just so easily collapse with a stray thought of you.
It’s been almost a month and I’m still not okay. These past few days had only lulled me into a false sense of security until the moment when your hand reached across the distance and the hurt and shook me to my very core again.
Please stop reaching for me.
Please stop thinking of me.
Please don’t ask me for anything more, because I’ve got nothing left to give you.
J.
